I was reading about Antarctica the other day when I discovered something very interesting. Something surprising... No country actually owns Antarctica! It's not a country in and of itself, it's just an uninhabited continent.
I learned that only 9 countries actually claim ownership over any land in Antarctica (Australia, Britain, Norway, Argentina, New Zealand, Chile, France, the Ukraine and the United States - from largest to smallest claims). And, no shit, several of the claims actually overlap (ie. multiple countries claim ownership over the same piece of land).
I learned that only 9 countries actually claim ownership over any land in Antarctica (Australia, Britain, Norway, Argentina, New Zealand, Chile, France, the Ukraine and the United States - from largest to smallest claims). And, no shit, several of the claims actually overlap (ie. multiple countries claim ownership over the same piece of land).
If you are like me, you noticed one thing about that map. The largest claims are all pie-shaped, running away from the south pole AND not a single country on Earth claims the millions and millions of acres of land beween 90 degrees and 150 degrees west longitude! The land is literally there for the taking!
Until now, that is!
I hereby claim legal ownership of all land on the Antarctic Continent between 90 and 150 degrees west longitude!
But, now, what should I call my new country? DamnThe.com: The Country! No. What about... Bobolognia (bob-uhl-own-ya).
Until now, that is!
I hereby claim legal ownership of all land on the Antarctic Continent between 90 and 150 degrees west longitude!
But, now, what should I call my new country? DamnThe.com: The Country! No. What about... Bobolognia (bob-uhl-own-ya).
That's it Bobolognia!
With the creation of Bobolognia, we must celebrate! Slaughter a pig I command!
Do you realize that this means that I now own a piece of the South Pole! Those claims are pie-shaped remember, intersecting 90 degrees south! If you imagine the physical South Pole as being the size of an apple pie on the ground - one sixth of that pie now belongs to Yours Truly! I think I'll start charging royalties whenever anyone mentions my South Pole on television or in the movies - from this moment forth!... I think I'll charge 50 cents for every picture taken by a tourist at the South Pole as well...
With the creation of Bobolognia, we must celebrate! Slaughter a pig I command!
Do you realize that this means that I now own a piece of the South Pole! Those claims are pie-shaped remember, intersecting 90 degrees south! If you imagine the physical South Pole as being the size of an apple pie on the ground - one sixth of that pie now belongs to Yours Truly! I think I'll start charging royalties whenever anyone mentions my South Pole on television or in the movies - from this moment forth!... I think I'll charge 50 cents for every picture taken by a tourist at the South Pole as well...
So, my new country will need a source of income. I guess I could melt the ice and bottle it as water. But, that wouldn't pay much. Plus, the shipping expenses would be staggering... I wonder if Halliburton needs any new, less conspicuous locations for their secret US torture facilities? At 130 degrees below zero in my country, those Middle Easterners are never gonna know what hit 'em! Other than the guards billy clubs, that is.
Perhaps, one day, if I ever make it down to visit my country, I'll lessen my claim. Maybe I'll bring some stakes and barbed wire with me. Or, better yet, yellow police tape - and cordon off a small area for myself, just a few feet square, wouldn't want the bloody Mexicans to think they could cross my border with impugnity!...
And, before you ask...
Perhaps, one day, if I ever make it down to visit my country, I'll lessen my claim. Maybe I'll bring some stakes and barbed wire with me. Or, better yet, yellow police tape - and cordon off a small area for myself, just a few feet square, wouldn't want the bloody Mexicans to think they could cross my border with impugnity!...
And, before you ask...
YES! I am more than willing to sell you acreage in the untouched natural wonderland that is...
BOBOLOGNIA!
BOBOLOGNIA!
In fact, I have a whole shitload of land to sell in my new country - I hope you like ice, penguins and ball-blistering cold. At approximately 750,000 square miles (2 million square kilometers), Bobolognia now ranks as the world's 13th largest country! Just ahead of Mexico and Saudi Arabia! So, fuck you Mexico and Saudi Arabia! Take your puny little countries and scram! There's a new Big Boy on the block!
Every country needs it's own culture, especially Bobolognia with it's popluation of zero year-round residents. Would you like to play a quick match of our national sport (countries like Canada have a national winter sport and a national summer sport - in Bobolognia, it's just winter 24/7).
OK, I'll start...
- I spy with my little eye, something that is white!
OK, I'll start...
- I spy with my little eye, something that is white!
- Wow, you're good at this! Your turn now...
- I spy with my little eye, something beginning with the letter I!...
Many countries have their own web sites, but DamnThe.com is now the only web site on Earth that has it's own country! If you ever make it to Bobolognia, please forward your passport so I can stamp it (and forward your ass too, so I can search it as well - wouldn't want any powdery white substances making their way into my pristine country).
And, before you go, please stand and salute OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.
Thank you,
Bob Brooks
Dictator-Elect-for-Life
Bobolognia
- I spy with my little eye, something beginning with the letter I!...
Many countries have their own web sites, but DamnThe.com is now the only web site on Earth that has it's own country! If you ever make it to Bobolognia, please forward your passport so I can stamp it (and forward your ass too, so I can search it as well - wouldn't want any powdery white substances making their way into my pristine country).
And, before you go, please stand and salute OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.
Thank you,
Bob Brooks
Dictator-Elect-for-Life
Bobolognia
Dibs!
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