BOB - "Hi Jon. First off, let me congratulate you on the Daily Show's debut on Canadian tv!
JON - "We've actually been available in Canada for about a year now..."
BOB - "Really?"
JON - "Um, yeah."
BOB - "Well, you wouldn't know it from the buzz on the street down here! Anyways, welcome to Vancover, Canada, Jon - where the Bush Administration's War on Terror is failing miserably.
JON - "Failing?"
BOB - "Yes Jon. Take a look around me - and you won't find one, single terrorist!... Pathetic, Jon."
JON - "Well, if there aren't any Terrorists, wouldn't that mean that the War on Terror was working?"
BOB - "No Jon. In fact, just the opposite. Take a look at Afganistan. 5 years ago, they had a small handful of Terrorists - now look at them - too many to count! And, take Iraq. 5 years ago - zero Terrorists. Now - you couldn't blindly throw a rock in Tikrit without setting off about half a dozen explosive vests!... But, look at Canada. The Bush Administration hasn't created one new Terrorist in the last 5 years! And, that is why the War on Terror is failing .
JON - But, isn't the whole idea of the War on Terror to kill terrorists?
BOB - I don't think so Jon. Just take a look at their policies. If everything the administration does increases terrorism exponentially - that's obviously their intent. And, this is hurting Canada to no small degree. With no new Terrorists, that means no new shady contracts for the military/industrial complex - We have our own Halliburton's up here, you know! Plus, with no new Terrorists, that means we can't arbitrarily remove human rights protections. We can't spy on our own citizens. No new secret prisons. No new secret torture facilities. No nothing. How do you expect our government to quash dissent if there's no Terrorists to blame it on??? It's high time for the Bush Administration to refocus their war on terror north of the border. Perhaps one day, if we're lucky, the War on Terror will produce as many Terrorists in Canada as it does in Iraq. We can only look to the future and hope... Now, back to you Jon...
JON - "We've actually been available in Canada for about a year now..."
BOB - "Really?"
JON - "Um, yeah."
BOB - "Well, you wouldn't know it from the buzz on the street down here! Anyways, welcome to Vancover, Canada, Jon - where the Bush Administration's War on Terror is failing miserably.
JON - "Failing?"
BOB - "Yes Jon. Take a look around me - and you won't find one, single terrorist!... Pathetic, Jon."
JON - "Well, if there aren't any Terrorists, wouldn't that mean that the War on Terror was working?"
BOB - "No Jon. In fact, just the opposite. Take a look at Afganistan. 5 years ago, they had a small handful of Terrorists - now look at them - too many to count! And, take Iraq. 5 years ago - zero Terrorists. Now - you couldn't blindly throw a rock in Tikrit without setting off about half a dozen explosive vests!... But, look at Canada. The Bush Administration hasn't created one new Terrorist in the last 5 years! And, that is why the War on Terror is failing .
JON - But, isn't the whole idea of the War on Terror to kill terrorists?
BOB - I don't think so Jon. Just take a look at their policies. If everything the administration does increases terrorism exponentially - that's obviously their intent. And, this is hurting Canada to no small degree. With no new Terrorists, that means no new shady contracts for the military/industrial complex - We have our own Halliburton's up here, you know! Plus, with no new Terrorists, that means we can't arbitrarily remove human rights protections. We can't spy on our own citizens. No new secret prisons. No new secret torture facilities. No nothing. How do you expect our government to quash dissent if there's no Terrorists to blame it on??? It's high time for the Bush Administration to refocus their war on terror north of the border. Perhaps one day, if we're lucky, the War on Terror will produce as many Terrorists in Canada as it does in Iraq. We can only look to the future and hope... Now, back to you Jon...
My 'Daily Show' Report:
NOTE: Update Below
UPDATE: June 7, 2006
I am pleased to announce that President Bush and Prime Minister Harper have taken my advice and turned this whole War on Terror thing around!
WE NOW HAVE TERRORISTS IN CANADA!
Not one month after posting this report, the government has gone out and gotten us Terrorists! Thank you for listening to me Mr.'s Bush and Harper! It's time my voice was heard in government! And the speed! Wow! Who says the executive branch works at the speed of a glacier?
Now, about that gay marriage thing...
I am pleased to announce that President Bush and Prime Minister Harper have taken my advice and turned this whole War on Terror thing around!
WE NOW HAVE TERRORISTS IN CANADA!
Not one month after posting this report, the government has gone out and gotten us Terrorists! Thank you for listening to me Mr.'s Bush and Harper! It's time my voice was heard in government! And the speed! Wow! Who says the executive branch works at the speed of a glacier?
Now, about that gay marriage thing...
About the author: Robert D. Brooks is a music video director from Vancouver, BC, Canada.
