Google Bombs!
We've all heard what comes up number one on Google when you search for "miserable failure" (it's George W. Bush's home page, for the luddites amongst us). So, I began to wonder what comes up when you search for other innocuous things.
Let's try something easy first. Baby. It's short. Simple. Baby!
So, let's Google it and see what we get:
Let's try something easy first. Baby. It's short. Simple. Baby!
So, let's Google it and see what we get:
I like how the second item in the natural search results is something called:
"Heinz Baby!"
I don't know about you, but that makes me think of pureed baby - in those thick oblong plastic ketchup-bottles that stand upside down so you don't have to shake it violently or stick a knife all the way up the neck in order to get that rich, thick, gooey baby flowing.
"Heinz Baby!"
I don't know about you, but that makes me think of pureed baby - in those thick oblong plastic ketchup-bottles that stand upside down so you don't have to shake it violently or stick a knife all the way up the neck in order to get that rich, thick, gooey baby flowing.
<=--- I like how the highest paying sponsored ad link - is to watch a live birth! That just goes to show you, when it comes to the internet, everything else comes a distant second to pussy - even sopping, torn, disgusting, bloody pussy!
Oh my God! Human Trafficking on eBay!!!
Sweet, they're selling Canadian babies too! Apparently, they're cheaper - because they aren't as fat as the American babies!
And, if you're going to buy a baby, do you really want a cheap one?... And, just how are they going to ship it???
Sweet, they're selling Canadian babies too! Apparently, they're cheaper - because they aren't as fat as the American babies!
And, if you're going to buy a baby, do you really want a cheap one?... And, just how are they going to ship it???
<=--- $300 for my baby???... Do I look Guatemalan to you?!? How dare you lowball me!
So what about refining our search? Let's try "starving babies," there couldn't be anything fishy going on there, could there?
The first result in Google for "starving babies" is a pop song - and number 3 is marijuana-related! ---=>
I was saddened to note the number 4 result: well-fed animals and starving babies. :o(
Perhaps I have a solution that will solve both problems: feed the babies to the animals! No, wait a second...
I was saddened to note the number 4 result: well-fed animals and starving babies. :o(
Perhaps I have a solution that will solve both problems: feed the babies to the animals! No, wait a second...
Starving babies are too depressing. Especially when they're being raised as feed for the livestock! Let's try something completely different. The exact opposite... 'fat babies'
Nope, let's not google that one - all you'll get is some very disturbing pornography. Excuse me, I must go jogging right now...
Now, let's get back to one of the previous ads... I wonder if they have any... 'VIRGINS'???
Nope, let's not google that one - all you'll get is some very disturbing pornography. Excuse me, I must go jogging right now...
Now, let's get back to one of the previous ads... I wonder if they have any... 'VIRGINS'???
If you aren't satisfied with your Canadian Virgins - try the ones from the UK!
And, what do we have for 'sluts'? This one (in the number 2 postition) has a tempting title. Being the dilligent reporter that I am, I sacrificed my own dignity and clicked on the link - so you won't have to...
Needless to say, the title would have been much more accurate if it had read: "I will show you my vagina - if you have a valid credit card."
Needless to say, the title would have been much more accurate if it had read: "I will show you my vagina - if you have a valid credit card."
So, if George W. Bush is a "miserable failure" - let's see who's the "biggest douche bag in the world"
Apparently that's Tom Cruise, judging from the number one search result returned by Google.
But, the author is forgetting something very important - Tom Cruise is just a tiny little thing, kind of like a Hobbit. There are much, MUCH bigger douche bags out there!
So, if you expand your horizons a little further and check for the "biggest douche bag in the UNIVERSE" - the consensus seems to be a pretty overwhelming John Edwards! You'll get no argument from me....
Apparently that's Tom Cruise, judging from the number one search result returned by Google.
But, the author is forgetting something very important - Tom Cruise is just a tiny little thing, kind of like a Hobbit. There are much, MUCH bigger douche bags out there!
So, if you expand your horizons a little further and check for the "biggest douche bag in the UNIVERSE" - the consensus seems to be a pretty overwhelming John Edwards! You'll get no argument from me....
You often get weird things happening in Google search results because of an effect called 'Google-bombing' (not to mention that all the ad results go to the highest bidder).
"Miserable failure" is an example of a google-bomb. It takes advantage of the fact that Google ranks the text of links that come into a site (ie. from other web sites) extremely highly. If all the links coming into your web site contain the word grocery, Google's going to assume that you're a grocer. So, as a joke, somebody started linking to George W. Bush's web site using the keywords "miserable failure" - and pretty soon, Google started associating "miserable failure" with the President's website.
It's estimated that it only takes as little as a few dozen web sites to throw an effective google-bomb.
So, please join with me in linking to the most putrid thing on earth: Olives! Yuk!
And, why not link to this site with the text: humor for conservatives and funny stories for the elderly!
"Miserable failure" is an example of a google-bomb. It takes advantage of the fact that Google ranks the text of links that come into a site (ie. from other web sites) extremely highly. If all the links coming into your web site contain the word grocery, Google's going to assume that you're a grocer. So, as a joke, somebody started linking to George W. Bush's web site using the keywords "miserable failure" - and pretty soon, Google started associating "miserable failure" with the President's website.
It's estimated that it only takes as little as a few dozen web sites to throw an effective google-bomb.
So, please join with me in linking to the most putrid thing on earth: Olives! Yuk!
And, why not link to this site with the text: humor for conservatives and funny stories for the elderly!
funny search results
weird google search results humor
Of course they do! eBay has everything!
Update:
Other Topics:
Barack Obama
Solar Power & Energy
Cars (Honda, Acura, etc...)
Atheism & Religion
Medical Information
Barack Obama
Solar Power & Energy
Cars (Honda, Acura, etc...)
Atheism & Religion
Medical Information