Make sure you watch to the very end - or you'll miss the funniest part!
("The Dildo Song", B&W, 3:08, 11mb, Restricted - NC17)
The Dildo Song viral video was created by:
Robert D. Brooks - Writer, Director, Producer, Voice-Over, Camera, Background Vocals, etc...
Alastair Anderson - Director, Editor, Music, Background Vocals, etc...
Brian Hughes - Casting Director
Wade Taves - Editor, LightingSaul Moran - Art Director
Gabriel Napora - Playback
Leif Berg - Sex Toy Procurement
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DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY:
Hi, my name is Bob Brooks, and I wrote and directed the viral video phenomenon THE DILDO SONG, one of the internet's very first viral videos. In fact, the term 'viral video' was actually coined to describe this video (and others like it).
I am a writer/director from Vancouver, BC. You may have seen one of my music videos on tv - but, I'm far greater known as the director of this piece (of shit, some of the less enlightened might say)!
It all began back in 1998. I had just graduated from film school, when a good friend of mine, Alastair Anderson, called. He was taking a computer editing course through Vancouver Film School, and - since he had no interest in film-making whatsoever - wondered if I had any old short-film scripts that we could film (he needed some footage to learn to edit with). I suddenly remembered an old joke I had written years before - The Dildo Song!
So, in a matter of a few days we gathered together some friends, actors and equipment (we shot on S-VHS, which partly explains the crappy images, as every DV camera [a new technology at the time] in the city happened to be rented that weekend).
The night before we shot, Al and I composed the music in MIDI (well, Al composed the music, while I watched) on a Pro-Tools station (being sure to change every single note - lest the Copyright Gods frown upon us) using an original Slinky Song recording from a bygone era as a guide.
The first time I met Koralee was when she arrived that night to record her vocals - which were giving her some difficulties (we had changed the music so much from the original that it was like two different tunes, and poor Koralee had to recombine them). But, she gave us a wonderful performance and we went home around 1 or 2am that night.
The Dildo Song - Shoot Day - Saturday, September 26th, 1998.
The next morning we all arrived at the park across from the childhoom homes Al and I grew up in - only to find hundreds of 6 and 7 year old children playing in a massive soccer tournament! There were at least 4 full-sized games being played at the same time! And, every once in a while a small child (or parent) would wander by our playground location - quickly, we would cut the cameras, hide the props, and quietly assure the parents that they might not want to keep their child around to watch as we filmed... Most of them got the hint... Actually, it's quite surprising that no one called the cops on us - considering that we must have looked exactly like an adult film crew shooting a lesbian, gang-bang/orgy scene in the middle of an elementary school playground!
For the next few weeks, Alastair taught himself to edit with the footage we shot - the final product: The Dildo Song. To this day the only short film he has ever edited (not too bad for a first timer, eh?!?).
A few months later, on a whim, I sent it off to Ifilm - and they put it on their web site. This was 1999 or 2000. When it premiered, I sent one single email to a mailing list I was a member of (consisting solely of a few hundred vintage movie poster collectors). For obvious reasons, Ifilm never advertised or promoted The Dildo Song (despite heavily promoting all their other top films). So, it was up to word-of-mouth. This one email led to a massive word-of-mouth campaign and by the end of the year, The Dildo Song was one of the 3 most downloaded short-films of all time (see also, 405: The Movie which was out around the same time). In fact, the popularity of the Dildo Song viral video was partly responsible for making Ifilm the titan it is today. And, to put it in perspective, the Dildo Song was getting hundreds of thousands of downloads a month in a time when 99% of all web users were using telephone modems to access the internet! The momentum kept up and The Dildo Song was one of the most downloaded short-films of 2001 as well. It was also, quite possibly, the most pirated piece of video on the web, so the actual numbers should be staggering. If I had a penny for every time someone passed on this link or emailed the video to their friends - well, I'd probably be a millionaire - which is really making me think I shouldn't have been giving away this viral video for free for so many years! ;o)
The response has been phenomenal... Well, except for the death threats anyways! They say that no one understands satire any more - and who can argue with that! You wouldn't believe how many people thought that we were seriously advocating sex-toys for minors! Not a single person seemed to 'get' that dildos are NOT something to be sold to toddlers - just as "My-First-Ghetto-Blaster's" weren't something that should have been sold to them either. But they were. And, that was my point... Just look at some of the clothes being marketed to 12 year olds nowadays. All of a sudden, a dildo doesn't look that horrific now does it?
From just this web viewership, we ended up getting invited to Just For Laughs as well as many major (and not so major) film, video and comedy festivals (and gay and lesbian festivals, wouldn't want to forget those) around the world. It has been shown internationally on networks such as Bravo!, the BBC, ITV, Playboy, etc... One company streamed it into video-kiosks in malls throughout the USA. Even the out-takes were recently featured on a popular bloopers variety show.
To this day, The Dildo Song viral video survives as strong as ever. You found this page, didn't you!?! That doesn't sound too impressive. No. But, consider this: I've never really advertised this site. I never sent or posted a link to it. I didn't even submit it to any search engines or directories until recently. The thousands of people who come here every day all get here because someone, somewhere spent a lot of time searching for it - and then posted the link for you (or you searched for it specifically)...
I recently learned that every single day, more than 1,000 internet users search for the title of the Dildo Song on the major search engines! 1,000! I still can't believe that! It's been out for nearly a decade already and still that many people want to watch it. I can't imagine many Hollywood movies get searched for that much every single day...
The Dildo Song viral video was intended solely as a joke (and an funny editing project for a friend), but has gone on to entertain millions and millions of people (and on a budget in the low 3 figures too)! Far beyond anything I ever expected (if I had known how popular the viral video was to become, I would have shot it on film, and a lot more carefully I would think).
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh...
THE DILDO SONG - the web's original viral video
Cheers,
Bob
PS. Please ignore the film-mkr@home.com email address (on older versions of the viral video). Back in the nineties, when cable modems were brand new, I got my broadband connection and @home email address - thinking that that email address would be mine for life. Then, of course, @home went bankrupt....
PPS. I should probably point out... I am not gay (although I believe they should have the right to get pissed drunk and have a drive-thru/Vegas-style wedding if they so choose). And, no, I do not have a dildo fetish. Sorry. But, thank you for all your interest. On the other hand, naked pictures from my beautiful female viewers are kindly appreciated (unless, of course, you are grossly obese and butt-ugly - in which case they're still appreciated, but for a whole other reason)...
STARRING:
Koralee Nickarz
with
Lhesa Forbes
Karen Robertson
Alonso Oyarzun
Brianna Mason
Tricia Maras
WARNING: The Dildo Song is not suitable for children! Do not watch the following viral video unless you are of age. There is no nudity or violence, but this viral video does contain mature themes, dirty humor and language, and, of course... adult playthings...
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